


Leorio Snaps: A Thrilling Trilogy

by motherofye3ts



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: AND THEN I THOUGHT, Also there’s leopika for legal reasons, Hey why not make him beat up my three least favourite characters, It started as this concept of Leorio beating up tonpa, Leorio beats up all the bitches, M/M, in short this is just Leorio Beating Up everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherofye3ts/pseuds/motherofye3ts
Summary: A three part story in which Leorio decides it’s been enough time being *this* close to beating someone up, and starts to actually beat them up.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	1. CH. 1: TONPA

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sorry at all. The day I apologise for this will be the day you know that’s not me.

Leorio was a stubborn man. Sure, he was patient when he had to be, but the man was _one_ _stubborn fucker._

Kurapika learnt this early on knowing him. It was obvious. He had some chill, so that he knew when to restrain himself (unlike the short blond (ok look I’m 5’8 I have every right to call him short)). 

So it was no surprise that when he said “after I graduate from med school, I want to beat the shit out of three specific people,” he wanted to actually go through with it when he finished med school. 

Kurapika thought that he forgot. The topic was never once brought up in conversation, so he thought that Leorio had been so fucking sleep deprived (like every single other college student) that he must’ve said that while sleep deprived. 

But no. Leorio was **dead fucking serious.** He wanted to beat up three people, or at least the three at the top of his “Beat The Fuck Out Of” list. 

He wanted to go least-most on his top three, AKA his #1 Bitch To Beat Up would go last (lucky them). 

So he went for #3: Tonpa’s bitch ass. 

It wasn’t hard to find him. Just had to ask the council if he could be one of the judges in that year’s hunter exam, and find a short ugly-ass bitch. 

He got assigned the second trial, which he made a quiz on medicinal herbs and other medical things you can find in the wilderness while being out in a forest. Tonpa’s bitch ass got three of them right, and god that annoying voice.... Leorio would recognize that disgusting voice everywhere. 

So he did what all people with common sense do: took Tonpa by the ear, dragged him to a corner and beat him the fuck up. 

Everyone knew that Tonpa had gotten his ass beat; it was obvious by his... well, everywhere. There wasn’t a single part of Tonpa’s body he didn’t beat up. Head, balls, feet. Literally his ankles were bulging with bruises. How the fuck do you beat someone’s ankles up??? 

Kurapika said “um chile anyways so” and helped him yeet Tonpa’s unconscious body into a dumpster. 


	2. CH2: GING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ging gets his ass beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still 0 regrets :D

“Now that he’s beaten the shit out of Tonpa, I wonder who he’s gonna beat up next,” Kurapika said into the phone. 

“I think I have a pretty good idea on who it could be, but I’m not sure about it,” Killua answered. 

“Oop, he’s coming, call you guys later.” 

“Bye Kurapika!” Gon said on the other line before the blond hung up. 

“Who was that?” Leorio asked. 

“Killua and Gon. They say hi.” 

Leorio’s eyes brightened at the mention of ~~his children~~ their young friends. “Oh, how are they?” 

“They’re doing good. Did you find #2 yet?” 

“Actually, I did. He’s gonna be passing by Yorknew for a few days, so I’m in luck. But I will need your help.” 

Kurapika stared at Leorio blankly for a good minute. 

“Heh?” 

“You need to hold him in your chain jail for like a minute. So I can punch him and then make a run for it.” 

“...hold on. Leorio, who the fuck is this person?” 

“Ging motherfucking Freecs.” 

——— 

“I called it. I mean, what did you expect? He is very open about his feelings towards Ging.” 

“Yeah but he’s going to go through with it! He is going to actually beat up Gon’s father! And he wants me to help him!” 

“Kurapika. I’m sure you can do it,” Killua whispered. “Now, I have to run before Gon finds out. See ya.” 

Kurapika was left shocked as Killua hung up. Jesus Christ, he was fucked. Utterly fucked. 

Not even the most insane amount of Nen could hide them both from Ging. He would find them. 

It wouldn’t stop Leorio. He was a man on a mission, and that mission wasn’t gonna be short. 

“Lord give me strength,” the blond whispered. 

——— 

Two weeks later, they were in Yorknew City. Both of them were coated in their strongest concealing Nen, head to toe. 

“Alright Kurapika, are you ready to do this?” 

“Would you leave me out of this if I said no?” 

“...nah.” 

“Fuckin’ knew it. Alright well, here we go.” 

They saw the hobo looking bitch passing through the streets, a circle of no people around him (stanky motherfucker). 

Kurapika walked up to him and used chain jail, locking the motherfucker up. He used the pointy chain to threaten him, cause how the fuck would a bastard who doesn’t even know his son’s favorite ice cream flavour know that Kurapika swore to not use that specific chain only on Troupe members? 

N e wayz, Kurapika trapped him with his chains and Leorio walked up to him. The only thing Leorio could think was “short ass, child abandoning bitch.” 

And he beat him tf up. 

Ging really did look like a hobo now, even more than before. When Gon is informed, he’s a little sad, and when he tells Mito he swears he could hear her cheer. 


End file.
